Sleep’s Dopesmoker is legendarily heavy. On any halfway decent sound system, it’ll rattle your ribcage. It’s sort of like being slowly assaulted by a massage chair. In 2015, Guitar World named it the heaviest album ever recorded. “You will definitely not find anything heavier,” wrote Ethan Varian.

On November 6th, for no reason in particular, I was in the right mood to accept that challenge.

I wanted a riff that would flatten me. I listened to 26 extremely heavy albums, recommended by friends and strangers. Four challengers made it to a semi-final round, where I listened to them back-to-back followed by Dopesmoker. One album was so heavy I did the back-to-back listen three times.

And I have to say: I’ve found something heavier.

But to begin, we have to discuss heavy as an aesthetic. Heavy is, somehow, not the same as brutal or aggressive. The point is getting bludgeoned: rhabdomyolysis, osteolysis, being left crushed on the pavement.

Dopesmoker is the standard I’m measuring against. It’s such an intense album that if I’m listening to Dopesmoker, that’s pretty much all I’m doing. The 2022 version of the album, a remaster for streaming services, consists of two songs: “Dopesmoker” and “Hot Lava Man.” 

“Dopesmoker” the song is more than one hour long. It is characterized by a pounding megalithic riff, which varies slightly on each repetition. It is possibly the loudest minimalist composition I have ever heard. The guitars are downtuned two steps from standard tuning, which makes them sound denser. There is a ton of bass that often echos the guitar and makes it sound even heavier. 

The song moves like a granite statue come to life. The guitar, the bass, and the vocal track all move together like a hymn. It takes eight minutes to get to the iconic first line: “Drop out of life with bong in hand.” The vocals sound like chanting. The drums are recessed in the mix — the cymbals are what’s most noticeable — and fairly simple.

“Dopesmoker” is thick. It’s also slow. That’s what makes it so visceral. The guitar solos, while excellent, are not really responsible for heaviness. Mostly, they render the riffs heavier by comparison.

During my quest to match or exceed this standard for heavy, the most common suggestions I received were Electric Wizard’s Dopethrone, Bongripper’s Satan Worshipping Doom, and Boris’s Amplifier Worship. I dropped all the suggestions I could into a Spotify playlist and made note of the ones I’d need to listen to on Bandcamp. Some bands, such as Sunn O))) and The Body, had multiple entries.

Listening to all 26 albums I collected was slow going because I only listened. This wasn’t background music. Usually, I’d sit down and just focus on an album per day.

If I had to isolate a common musical lineage all the albums in contention, it’s Black Sabbath. (Duh?) There’s a kind of purist quality to the Sabbath worship, particularly from Church of Misery and the subgenre of stoner metal. One of the other albums in consideration was Godflesh’s Streetcleaner, which was striking in this context; it was surrounded by material it had clearly inspired. The two other bands I’d point to as formative for the quest for heaviness are the Melvins and Sunn O))), which was the only band that freaked out my cat.

The heaviest tracks I listened to on my quest were aggressively anti-commercial; it’s hard to imagine them being played on corporate radio. Black Boned Angel’s Verdun is one song that’s almost 52 minutes long. Khanate’s self-titled album seems fully uninterested in concepts such as “grooves,” “song structure,” and “sanity.” Shallow North Dakota’s Mob Wheel was bludgeoning.

Famously, Dopesmoker itself wasn’t initially released because it had no commercial prospects. London Records had promised Sleep full creative control and then, upon hearing the album, shelved it. (This was among the tensions that led to the band’s breakup.) 

The slowness that makes music really heavy stands in contrast to TikTok-ified music, which is generally sped up if it’s not already upbeat.  It was refreshing to hear music that felt insistent on itself as an experience.

From all my listening, four contenders emerged: Boris’s Amplifier Worship, Hell’s Live at Roadburn, Bongripper’s Empty, and The Body / Thou’s collaboration Released from Love / You, Whom I Have Always Hated.

It seemed possible I’d find that Dopesmoker was the pinnacle by default — a testament to an aesthetic no one was trying to achieve anymore. But Empty is from 2024, Live at Roadburn was released in 2018, and Released from Love / You, Whom I Have Always Hated is from 2015.

To handle the semi-finals, I listened to each album back-to-back with Dopesmoker, which made judging surprisingly easy. Amplifier Worship, Empty and Released from Love were knocked out almost immediately.

This left me with Hell’s Live At Roadburn. It’s an odd choice since it’s basically a live version of Hell’s self-titled album, but it’s decidedly heavier, particularly the songs “Subodin” and “Machikitos.” That may be partly because live songs work differently than studio versions — not least because there’s a band instead of Matthew S. Williams, who records as MSW, doing all the parts himself.

Live at Roadburn is not just heavier than Hell’s self-titled; it’s also heavier than Dopesmoker.

So, what renders Roadburn heavier? For starters, the guitars are literally tuned lower — I think to drop A flat rather than drop C. And though the songs on Roadburn often use repetition, there’s also variation on the tempo, which generally slows (“Helmzmen” sort of grinds to a halt). There’s more fuzzed-out feedback.

But the deciding factor is the drums, which are much higher in the mix on Roadburn than on Dopesmoker, which means I can feel the bass and tom. On “Machitikos” in particular, the pummeling drums underline and thicken a guitar solo.

For guitar purists, my verdict may be suspect. After all, I’m taking into account drums in a riff-based medium. There are, however, only so many ways to get heavy, which makes the drums the equivalent of the full-body swimsuits the Olympics banned for making swimmers too fast. Roadburn would probably still be heavier with the drums lower in the mix — probably — but the drums make it decisive.

Listen to both albums back-to-back on good speakers. (Headphones won’t get the job done here.) Once you feel Roadburn in your sternum, I don’t think there will be any room for argument. Spending two hours listening to music as an activity — while doing nothing else — is something people should do more often. Music is still powerful, if you’re willing to pay attention.